Home > Articles > Coffee Snob So you want to be a coffee snob... Introduction I'm a coffee snob, and you can be one too!  Truth be told, I'm a wine snob first.  Who'd have thunk a blue collar kid like me whose primary interests were watching Star Trek and catching frogs at the neighborhood ditch (still the best frog catcher who never uses a net in Valparaiso, IN!) would someday develop such a discriminating palate?  Well, it happened.  But that's not so unique these days; so far as snobs go, there are lots of us snobs.  Perhaps my experience with wine snobbery prepared me for my next bit of pretension: coffee.  Oh, devil coffee.  It's the blood and guts of many a college term paper, and it's a familiar friend in some of the fondest college cafe conversations.  But, it's also a very serious substance.  After all, it's the second largest import after oil!  It can also be quite expensive, ranging anywhere from $10/lb to $60.00/lb! In order to be a proper coffee snob, let's get the history of this marvelous berry (yes berry!) into perspective.  History Of all the various species of genus Coffea (family Rublaceae) known to exist, only two species are of any importance to us: Coffea Robusta and Coffea Arabica. The coffee plant is a small tree, grown in hot, moist climates, principally between latitudes 30 north and 30 south. The richer and more flavorful coffees are grown at elevations between 3,000 and 6,000 feet. These coffees are of the Arabica variety.  They constitute only roughly 3% of all coffee beans grown! A coffee tree starts producing coffee about 5 years after planting, and will only yield around 1 pound of green coffee annually. The lower grown Robusta are harvested all at once mechanically, while the higher grown Arabica are picked by hand as they ripen. This makes the Arabica a cleaner, more flavorful cup of coffee. After harvesting, the pulp around the bean is removed. This can be done by drying the coffee and removing the pulp; or by using water to wash the pulp off. These are known, respectively, as the dry and wet methods of preparation. Both produce unique and different flavor profiles, and add to the wide variety of coffee available. After the pulp is removed, the coffee is dried, sorted, graded, and bagged according to type and quality. Now it is ready for exporting. Good gourmet coffee companies pursue beans only in the Arabica family. JL Hufford's coffee companies have buyers who have traveled to many coffee producing countries to personally find and inspect some of the the worlds greatest coffees. They look at all aspects of the processing in the producing countries for adherence to rigid quality control standards. They then conduct multiple tests on the coffee samples they brought back with them. Using state-of-the-art lab equipment and trained coffee cuppers, they analyze many aspects of the beans; a few of which are the moisture percentage, the amount of defects, the bean size, and most importantly, the actual cup quality. In fact, each coffee is rated on over 20 different taste characteristics before JL Hufford purchases a single bean! Once the coffee shipment arrives, rigid tests are performed on the green coffee to ensure the quality. If the coffee passes these tests, it is ready to roast. Roasting is the process of heating the beans to draw moisture out and caramelize the natural sugars that gives coffee its flavor. For us coffee snobs, the type of bean and roasting process go hand in hand as the most important bits to making a good cup.  The green coffee bean is made up of fats, proteins, fibers, and miscellaneous chemicals. The coffee we enjoy so much does not actually come to life until it is roasted. The heat of roasting forces the moisture out of the bean, and draws out of the remaining substance various tiny fragrant beads of a volatile oily material. This substance is not actually an oil, since it dissolves in water - but it is the flavor essence which we prize as coffee. During roasting, the oil gathers in little pockets throughout the heart of the bean. As the beans are roasted for longer periods and more moisture is lost, the oil develops further and begins to rise to the surface of the bean, giving dark roasts their characteristic oily appearance. As the beans roast for a longer period, it begins to burn, creating the bittersweet flavor that is cherished by lovers of dark-roasted coffee. Dark roasted coffees also contain considerably less acid and caffeine - these are burned off during the roasting process. Immediately after roasting, the coffee bean is ready to die!  The more exposure to oxygen the bean gets, the staler it is.  That's why many roasters nitrogen flush their coffee bags (to prevent oxidation). Now you know how a bean gets done up for a true coffee snob.  But, how do you judge the quality of the bean?  I remember many wine tasting events which I treated a bit too casually.  I'd joke about the insipid hints of tobacco or grass or plumb.  Then I'd comment on the very fruit-forward feel, and the gentle nose!  Hah!  Although I got lots of laughs, because I was making it all up, there is definitely an art to wine tasting.  And the same is true, if not more so, of coffee tasting. Tasting Acidity: It's the snappy quality of many high-altitude beans that bites onto the sides of your tongue... and often doesn't let go!  When used in coffee tasting, it has little to do with actual acidity, or pH characteristics.  Acidity is actually a very pleasant characteristic, as it relates to coffee; it is brisk and is sometimes that quality which is referred to as "palate-cleansing". Aroma: Similar to what wine connoisseurs refer to as "nose", it simply means the scent or odor of a coffee.  It is one of the most distinct characteristics of coffee; as many coffee aficionados say: coffee tasting is coffee smelling.  Some terms used to describe aroma are: carbony, chocolatey, fruity, herby, rich, caramelly, spicy, round. Body: A hefty body means a weighty feeling in the mouth.  Some coffee is thin (or watery).  Terms used to describe body range from thin to thick to syrupy (ie Turkish coffee).  A rich crema on crema coffee or espresso usually denotes a robust body, but it can be attained from some medium bodied beans. Bitter: You get nailed with this taste on the back of your tongue.  Most dark roasts in North America are bitter, as are improperly extracted espresso roasts (too much extraction is the particular cause). Bland: This is the opposite of bitter.  It is a pale flavor indicative of low-grown coffee, coffee brewed with grounds that were too fine, or coffee brewed with too much water. Briny: The convenience store coffee.  This is caused by cooking coffee after it is brewed, or brewing at too high of a temperature. Earthy: Also used to describe spicy coffees, this just means what it sounds like.  Like the Mainlanders say of Scotch aged on the Island: it tastes like dirt. Exotic: Can be used to describe a wide range of coffees, often fruity or floral coffees with a quick snap to them, like Tanzanian Peaberry. Flavor: This is a term for the overall experience of taste; The aroma, acidity, and body comprise what we refer to as "flavor". Mellow: Well-balanced coffee with low to medium acidity. Mild: This has a technical meaning, which is "any Arabica coffee other than those from Brazil", and a taste-related meaning, which is harmonious and delicate, like Columbian or Guatemalan or even Hawaiian.  Soft: Low-acid coffees are often called sweet.  This does not refer to actual sugar content, rather it can usually be interchanged with the term mellow. Sour: You'll know it when you taste it.  The lower sides of the tongue get gripped by a hideous sensation: tartness, or sourness.  It is characteristic of some lightly roasted coffees. Spicy: This refers to an aroma or flavor of many African coffees.  It can be interchanged with the term peppery. Strong: This term literally refers to the relative proportion of coffee solubles to water in a given brew.  Strength is often used to define the relative inadequacies of a particular brew.  Recently, the term strong has also come to refer to caffeine content, however, weak Robusta beans generally have more caffeine than "strong" Arabica beans. Sweet: General term for smooth, palatable coffee. Tangy: Similar to "sour", tangy means a tartness, almost fruity in kind. It can be a very pleasant characteristic, when in the right proportion to others.  Costa Rican coffees are often described as tangy. Wild: This term is used to describe coffee with extreme flavor characteristics, positive or negative.  A classic example is Ethiopian Harrar, which has a racy nuanced feel on the tongue. Winey: My favorite term!  This term refers to a desirable flavor reminiscent of fine red wine.  Kenyan coffees are often described as winey. And there you have it!  All the beginnings of coffee snobbery.  Although there are some fake snobs out there, if they can't speak the lingo, then you'll see through them... just as if they were weak coffee!